Some are directly linked with you and some are not. He hides his new relationship either because doesn’t want to hurt himself or you. More specifically, his actions are also based on how he feels at the moment and on the length of the breakup. If you broke up recently then the chances are that he hides it because he isn’t sure yet. At other times, this might not be his aim at all. Maybe he is not hiding it because of you or he is not hiding it at all. Even for your ex, this is a batt;e between himself, his mind/feelings, and you. So, to clear all this up, here are 11 main reasons why an ex is hiding his new relationship:
1. He might be playing mind games with you
He just wants to make you curious and maybe wants you to be back with him. Usually, a controlling ex would do this just so they want to seem mysterious and have you under their control. In this situation, your ex might have not deleted or blocked you from their social media. Yet, they might only hide his story or posts from you, so other people can inform you about his new relationship. He doesn’t want to seem needy and beg for your attention and this is what he does instead. Shortly, he wants to use the new relationship to seem like he is doing fine and make you curious. 🔴If you feel the need to get extra help from a relationship coach, you can do it.They will help you to pin down the problem and simultaneously understand your and his feelings.
2. He still might have feelings for you
If your ex has still feelings for you and misses you, he will hide his new relationship. Now, he just doesn’t want you to be hurt or misunderstand him. Even though he is not confronting or being vulnerable with you, there might still be some feelings for you. In this situation, your ex will try to still be in contact with you but still, he is mixed up. I am not implying that this will always be the reason why an ex is hiding his new relationship. If your ex has still feelings for you, he will try not to lose contact with you even if he hides his new relationship.
3. He doesn’t want to confront you
He might want to confront you for all the mistakes that he did and maybe give up on the relationship too early. His ego and maybe knowing that there is no turning back, he chooses to hide his new relationship from you. He is not ready to admit his mistakes and maybe admit that he wasn’t doing anything to make the relationship work. So, technically, the past keeps him as a prisoner and holds him from confronting you. He thinks that by hiding his new girlfriend, he can escape the past and his guilt.
4. He might not be sure of his new relationship yet
It’s pretty understandable to have mixed feelings after the breakup. Especially, if he still has strong feelings for you. For him is like the past and present are being tangled and he doesn’t know what to do. He chooses to hide his new relationship until he is sure about his feelings. One might say that he might not be hiding it but he might be keeping it private for the moment. He might still be exploring new things and just trying to find out what his feelings are.
5. He might have moved on completely
Usually, when the breakup is bad and the relationship was messy, an ex tends to lose interest. When the relationship is done and he loses his feelings, he just doesn’t seem to keep in touch with you. It doesn’t mean that he is hiding his new relationship from you. That means that they just want to enjoy their new relationship in private without making it a big deal. Hence, in this case, your ex might delete you or block you from all social media. In the end, he just doesn’t want to be in contact with you and move forward.
6. He wants to avoid drama
He might like to keep it private and not deal with you for the moment. He just wants to create a new relationship and focus on it. If your relationship was toxic then he won’t like to expose his new love life to you. He might be still waiting to be healed and detached from the past trauma. To create a new healthy relationship, he needs to detach himself completely from you. More specifically, he doesn’t feel the need to share any type of information or thoughts and feelings with you.
7. He was with her while you were together
If your ex cheated on you but you never found out technically, they might have been together and he doesn’t want you to know. Maybe she might be someone you know and he doesn’t want you to find it out. I know that this reason is a hard pillow to swallow but overlapping through relationships is real. He might have been seeing this person earlier on while being with you and know he doesn’t want to confront you. Their lies will inevitably catch up to them. So they don’t want you to make any drama or find out the truth.
8. He doesn’t want to burden you
If he has dumped and hurt you during the relationship then he hides his new relationship because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes, reconciling with one another is complex and does wrong to both of you. Maybe both of you knew that getting back together with one another won’t be the right decision. When you still have feelings for him and vice versa, it’s hard to move to another relationship even if it’s not serious. He knows that this fact might hurt you and him at the same time that’s why he avoids it. His feelings are genuine and he wants you to move forward in life.
9. He wants you to think that he’s still single
Your ex wants you to think that he is doing good on his own or that you can still have a chance with him. He might also do it to convince you that he wants just to stay single at this time of his life. It depends on how you broke up and how you interacted afterward. If you were using No Contact, he wants to hide it because he wants to show you how he won the breakup. He wants to seem strong in front of you, especially if you dumped him. At this moment, he might have been working on himself and doesn’t want to ruin this new relationship.
10. His new girlfriend doesn’t like to make the relationship public
Sometimes even his or her new girlfriend doesn’t want to make the relationship public. When a man is hurt in a previous relationship, he goes private. I repeat private and not secretive. Their relatives and friends might now know about their new relationship but they just don’t want to flaunt it. And this isn’t just hiding, this means that they are just taking the relationship step by step. This reason isn’t related to you but to them as a couple. Every relationship is unique and everyone has specific requests.
11. He’s doing it just to boost his confidence and ego
They might be just exploring the new relationship and trying to heal at the same time. He wants to be in a new relationship but still wants to keep you hooked up. In this situation, he does hide it specifically to feel important, especially if the breakup is fresh. In this period, the anxiety and loneliness hit the dumpee or the dumper and he needs something to hold on to. On the other hand, he might be keeping this fact hidden so you can go back with him. If this new relationship doesn’t work then he wants to take another chance with you.
What to do if my ex is hiding his new relationship?
If your ex is hiding his or her new relationship you need to focus on yourself. One main mistake that most people do is that they get so obsessed with this fact when they found out. I understand you, it’s not easy to find out that your ex is in another relationship already. In every situation, it hurts, even if you still have feelings for him or not.
- Work on your feelings first. Ask yourself what you feel about your ex right now. Is it love or just a simple impulse of loneliness? During this time try to learn how to manage solitude and the fact of being alone. Don’t take it as a task, try to enjoy alone activities or travel alone. This will help you to know yourself in more depth.
- Don’t be persistent and put pressure on your ex. In the end, you have broken up and this is his life. If you keep putting pressure on him to tell you, that won’t work. You either push him away or he will just ghost you. If you think that being friends with him or just staying in contact will prevent your healing, cut it off. It’s better to focus on your potential and move forward.
- Talk to him. If your ex is hiding their new relationship but it’s not an issue for you then you can just talk to him. You can tell him that is not a problem for you and when he feels ready, will let you know more. If this will be successful will depend on your feelings and how you will manage them.
Should you tell your ex about a new relationship?
You should always tell an ex about your new relationship. If you feel like you have to break the news to them then do it. Especially, if you two are still friends, in contact, and don’t have feelings for one another then that’s not a problem. Hiding a current relationship from an ex might cause the same problems as giving them the news. ~If the relationship was toxic then it’s better to not deliver the news to them. There are no positive outcomes if you let them know about your new relationship. It would cause you more harm than good. Your ex might wait for this chance so they can interfere in your relationship. It’s better to be careful than sorry. ~If your ex has been expressing interest in getting back together then it’s better to let him/her know. Let them know about your boundaries and how you feel about them at the moment. The relationship is done and they have shown interest but maybe now you’re not on the same page. It’s better to be clear and not let them hang and you being stuck in the past and present. ~If you’re co-parenting then it’s better to let them know. There might be complications in the relationship between you, him, and your kids. That’s why it’s better to let them know that there’s someone new in your life. According to it, you will know what to expect.
This is it: Ex keeping new relationship secret…
When an ex is keeping a new relationship a secret that means that they either intend to stay for the long run or not. This might seem cliche or even ambiguous to you but there’s no other reason in between. You can only know the real reason if you reflect on your relationship with them and the post-breakup connection. It all depends on these elements. If you haven’t been talking with one another and your ex fell out of love, he is hiding it because he moved on. Yet, if you are in contact and he’s hiding it then he might either want you as a backup plan or doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s why you need to focus on yourself and move forward instead of being caught up on this topic. Don’t forget to be you, Callisto Adams
