However, when a guy takes hours to text back it might be because he doesn’t prefer texting much or his phone might have died. But even those obvious excuses don’t settle the anxiety you might be feeling while waiting beside your phone for it to light up. Dear reader, you shouldn’t pause your life for a text. Don’t worry, I got you! Here are 12 instances when a guy takes hours to text back:
1. He might have started losing interest
The decline in the frequency of texting might initiate that he might have started losing interest since he takes hours to text back. This is followed by him prioritizing other things before you, thus, creating little to no time space to maintain open communication. Just because he takes hours to text back, it doesn’t mean that you should reflect on his behavior as that will likely lead to you drifting apart. As this might be true, you can talk to him about his behavior and how it is making you feel, instead of letting things go unanswered.
2. He isn’t into you
A guy might not text you back for hours because he isn’t into you. The instances he texts you back could be out of kindness. You might have read his behavior wrong and assumed he liked you, which now doesn’t seem to be the case. When a guy takes hours to text you back, it doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t interested. Often this is a symptom followed by other clues such as:
Lack of effort put into texting; Short and empty replies that don’t indicate interest in you;
3. Maybe, he just doesn’t like texting
Some guys don’t text back for hours because they just don’t like texting that much and find it annoying to base their relationships on texting only. That is why understanding his texting style is important to help you feel more secure in the relationship and not jump to conclusions. Dr. Trub, when presenting the scientific group findings pointed out that the happiness of a relationship isn’t based on the frequency of texting. Rather on the similarities of your texting styles and their content. Put simply, it means that just because you find texting enjoyable he might not feel the same. That there needs to be a combination of communication methods.
4. He is yet to decide what to say back
The text you sent him needs some time to be considered, that’s why he hasn’t texted back for hours. As texts can be easily misunderstood, he might be contemplating the best way to answer your question, which might take a longer time for him. So while he is trying his best to arrange his thoughts on text, to avoid sounding offensive, a guy might take hours to text back. Nonetheless, you shouldn’t exclude the possibility that your boyfriend might just not be in the mood to talk to you right now, hence texting you back hours later.
5. He wants you to wait for him
When he takes hours to text back, it might be his game to have you under his control by making you wait for him. By doing so, you will think about him more, question your behavior, and be thankful when he gives you a little of his attention. You will be investing much more into this relationship to make things work and will have much more to lose, keeping you closer to him. This is his way of keeping you engaged and getting you excited once he replies after hours of letting you wait in despair.
6. He might be confused about his feelings
Taking his time to make do with his feelings might be why he takes hours to text you back since he needs personal space to think things. Usually, during this process, the texting frequency will decrease because he needs time, but also, doesn’t want to lose the opportunity with you. As a result, his texts come later and later every time. If things don’t work in a positive light, he wants you to be prepared for it and not lead you on. The expectations aren’t fully addressed because he wants to avoid promising a lie. So instead of waiting around for his texts, go on with your day as usual and don’t let it pull you back as it isn’t as important as your well-being. Take this time to consider your feelings for him too and see where that self-reflection might lead you to.
7. The familiarity has established security
Your boyfriend might be taking hours to text back because he feels safe in your relationship. He is confident that just because he doesn’t respond immediately it won’t bother you because you established a safe ground within the relationship. His emotional intelligence lets him be confident in his choice, acknowledge his feelings about you, and embrace your differences. According to Psychologist Angela Bisignano, for him to be classified as emotionally intelligent, he needs to be empathetic, communicative, respectful, aware, and encouraging. As you might find these qualities in your partner, you shouldn’t let the frequency of texting determine the status of your relationship. Therefore, you need to talk to him and share your feelings, because by addressing the problem, the likelihood of a solution is higher.
8. He is waiting to have uninterrupted time with you
When a guy takes hours to text back he might be busy and is waiting to have some uninterrupted time to be fully immersed in you. Your boyfriend doesn’t want to give you minimal attention and treat you like you don’t matter. He takes longer to respond if a text conversation has less significance according to his views. When he finally texts you back, you might notice that you have all of his attention and are willing to listen to whatever you say. Nonetheless, take this with a grain of salt. If he only changed his texting behavior, this might be the case. But, if you notice other patterns such as:
Ignoring what you say; Rarely initiating a conversation;
… then you need to look further into what has caused this sudden change
9. He is preoccupied with some other things
Work or studies might be getting more of his time, thus, he is deeply immersed in his projects that he might not notice that you texted him. So when your boyfriend takes hours to text back, he might be distracted by something else that is keeping him occupied. Something came up, and he just can’t pick up the phone and check his messages. He could be busy with work, busy with something sudden that came up, or just preoccupied with something that needs his attention at the moment.
10. He might be seeing somebody else
In the early stages of dating, seeing multiple people is generally accepted in society. As you might have just started to get to know each other, he is still available to meet with other girls, resulting in taking hours to text back. Since he doesn’t have time to text you so suddenly followed by other suspicious activities, he might be talking to someone else. Also, if he has just recently come out of a relationship, you might be just a rebound for him, or he’s using you to make his ex jealous. You might have taken notice that he calls you only at designated times- late at night for a booty call- that is appropriate for him.
11. He is mirroring your actions
If you started taking hours to respond to his texts, he might be led by example. Because you’re not putting in an effort, he is just matching your energy. Since you take such a long time to reply, he might have interpreted it as you playing with him, so now he takes hours to text back. Your behavior preceded his, making him reconsider his decision of investing time in the relationship you might have started to build.
12. He wants you to pursue him
When he takes hours to text back it’s because he might be playing hard to get, and wants you to do some of the chasing. And if you are still insistent with your texts, you might have just fulfilled his intentions, and now you’ve started chasing him. Therefore, if you think that just because you are the chaser will make you less powerful, remember that you still have the choice of ending things. It’s okay for things to shift every now and then, but it becomes not-so-okay when things go out of balance.
Should I text him again if he hasn’t texted back yet?
It is important to establish this from the beginning, you shouldn’t flood him with texts until he picks it up. Nowadays, taking up to 6-7 hours is generally accepted as an affirmative texting frequency. The downside of it is the lack of possibility of actually having a back-and-forth conversation. Therefore, you shouldn’t send him a follow-up immediately, e.g. after 2-3 hours. This can be excluded only if there is an emergency that requires his immediate attention. Otherwise, you need to give him space to react to your text in his own time without feeling pressured. You need to consider that your texts might be distracting him from something important. However, if he still hasn’t reached back in two days, then you can surely send him ONE follow-up, and if he still doesn’t respond, you need to move on. When you sent him your follow-up, you gave him another chance which he refused to take. As a result, cutting contact seems the next reasonable step.
Take a break for the day and take good care of yourself
Don’t let yourself be immersed in anxiety and pity just because he didn’t respond as fast as you did. The frequency of texting doesn’t define your relationship. Instead, you need to think about yourself and what makes you happy. Keep yourself occupied with those passions that drive and motivate you. Don’t drown in self-pity. Think of who you were before meeting him and just continue improving that version for you without letting him hold you back. Time passes quickly when you do your thing rather than just simply waiting on the phone. When in doubt, talk to an expert. We’ve got you! Love, Callisto
