She could be genuinely happy. But what if she isn’t? What if she is just pretending to be happy to make you feel jealous? According to an empirical study, the reason that some people get into rebound relationships is that it’s one of the ways to boost self-confidence and to prove to themselves and others that they are still desirable. It’s a 50-50 chance that they are either struggling to get over you or they have gotten over you already. Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), who is a gender and relationship management expert, says, “In a rebound relationship, you are not yourself. You are on a quest toward many answers you didn’t get out of the broken relationship. Till you get there, you remain on the rebound and not ready to foster a lasting, meaningful new connection.”
How To Deal When Your Ex Seems So Happy With Her Rebound
If your ex is in a rebound relationship right after they broke up with you, then there is a possibility that they aren’t over you yet and are just using this new person to get rid of the feelings they have for you. But what if they are genuinely happy and have moved on? In that case, here are some coping strategies to help you move on too.
1. Give your ex some space
Bad breakups can harbor negative emotions. You might hate them for breaking up with you. You will doubt yourself. You will compare yourself with the person she is currently dating. So it’s better to give your ex some space because your emotions are raw and there are chances you could be facing emotional flooding. Meanwhile, you can meet your friends and family. You can get back to your old hobbies. Focus on your career, It’s essential that you don’t hound them with messages and phone calls. You should also prevent yourself from saying hurtful and rude things to each other. If your ex is in a rebound relationship after immediately breaking up with you, it’s better to give her some space, for both your sakes.
2. Establish a no-contact rule
Your ex used to be happy with you but now they’re ignoring your calls and text messages. You’re miserable and in pain. The best thing to do right now is to establish a no-contact rule. The no-contact rule is when you both don’t call, text, or meet each other. The main advantage of this rule is that it doesn’t make you look desperate anymore. Your dignity and self-respect will be intact. Also, you will have another opportunity to fall in love. When asked on Reddit how the no-contact rule can be beneficial, a user replied, “I have been in a no-contact rule for 12 days and right now I am focusing on myself (going to the gym, eating healthy, trying to dress better…) I am hoping this will make her more likely to come back, but even if she doesn’t, I have still improved myself at the end of the day. It’s a win-win for both.”
3. Don’t stalk her on social media
A Reddit user shares their woes, “My ex seems so happy with her rebound. It is so hard to control the negativity that is oozing out of me. I can’t help but stalk her on social media. I am just hurt because all of our problems were unsolved and now she suddenly started dating this new guy and is now rushing the relationship like hell.” It’s normal to be curious about what’s happening in your ex’s life. You want to know if the person they are dating looks better than you, dresses better than you, or even earns more than you. So when your ex seems happy on social media, there are chances you will resent them for being happy. It’s not wrong but it’s not good for you either. You don’t want to lose your amiable and considerate nature because of one bad breakup. When your ex is truly done with you, why bother stalking your ex on social media just to feel bitter about your situation? You are better than that.
4. Don’t trash talk about her
Every person is flawed. It can be cathartic to talk about their flaws after you separate. But when you badmouth an ex after a breakup, it’s nothing but a reflection of yourself. It shows you are hiding your flaws and highlighting theirs. Take the high road and remain tight-lipped about their character even while venting to your close friends. “My ex seems so happy in her rebound relationship. She didn’t even feel bad about breaking my heart. What a b*tch!” – Venting like this can soon turn toxic. Talk about it in a healthy way rather than portraying your ex in an evil manner. Stick to expressing how you feel and how you would like to move on rather than telling people what your ex did and how they made you feel.
5. Don’t embarrass yourself by reaching out to her friends or family
This is plain desperation. If your ex is flaunting a new relationship on social media, it’s clear she doesn’t want you in her life anymore. It’s one of the signs your ex is happy without you. She has deleted your pictures. Her friends and family know about the breakup. They know that your ex is in a happy relationship. You need to find out ways to cope when your ex moves on. So, don’t embarrass yourself by reaching out to her friends and saying, “My ex seems fine after our breakup. But I want her back. Can you help me?” Even if you want to get back together with your ex, don’t involve her loved ones. It’s immature and inappropriate, and it won’t help your case. The only people who can fix this relationship are you and your ex.
6. Don’t judge her for having a rebound relationship
When my ex broke up with me and immediately jumped into another relationship, I was devastated, angry, and felt defeated. As if this was a game to see who moves on first. I clearly felt like I lost and I wanted my ex’s new relationship to fail badly. My ex seemed so happy with his rebound, whereas I was unhappy, spiteful, and jealous. This negativity clouded my good judgment. I called him and that woman offensive names. I just couldn’t believe how could my ex move on so fast with her. I realized much later the folly of my words. When your ex moves on soon after the breakup, it’s one of the signs your ex is over you. She doesn’t want you back. She has taken the first healthy step to move on. These are some of the signs your ex is happy without you. It’s time you learn how to be happy without her too.
7. Don’t plead with her to come back
Begging your ex to come back is heartbreaking. Your self-esteem takes a hit when you beg for love. When your ex is truly done with you, she won’t come back no matter how much you plead and beg. Your ex is flaunting a new relationship on social media, after all. She wants everyone to know that she has moved on. When asked on Reddit about how it felt seeing your ex move on, a user replied, “You never ever know what it’s really like between your ex and their new boyfriend. My ex monkey branched to someone who seemed so “her type”. I was in so much agony. I felt so worthless and they seemed so alike that I just felt like a stepping stone for her. “Anyway fast forward 6 months and they’re finished. They seemed so happy on the outside but that wasn’t the case on the inside. One thing I can tell you though is you are doing yourself no good by keeping tabs on them or by refusing to let them go. I’ve been there. You’re only hurting yourself if you beg her to come back.”
8. Accept the breakup
Zack, a graphic designer from New York, says, “My ex seems fine after our breakup. I was furious after finding out she had gone on a date with my friend. She jumped into a new relationship so soon! They even got engaged. At that time, I wanted her new relationship to fail. I thought if that happens, she would come back to me. I realized eventually that it was not worth it. We would have been together if it was meant to be.” Here are some ways to move on and accept the breakup:
Know your value and validate yourselfDelete her from your lifeJot down your emotions regularlyDon’t ever question your worth based on someone else’s perception of you
Stop saying, “My ex seems so happy with her rebound.” It’s time you find your own happiness. Try to cope with your breakup in a healthy way. Focus on your achievements, career, and hobbies. Meet your friends. Make it a point to jot down your feelings. Try speed dating. Don’t beg your ex to come back when they have made it clear that they are pleased and glowing in their rebound relationship. You got all the signs your ex is happy without you. What are you waiting for? She is not coming back. Know that this loss isn’t yours. It’s her’s. You fall in love. You fall out of love. That’s the very essence of life. You can’t force someone who isn’t in love with you to stay in your life. You can love someone and still let them go. You can break up with someone without having negative feelings toward them. You can heal and move on without hurting your ex.
