Whether it’s out of the blue or it’s something that has been a long time coming, it’s going to hurt pretty much the same. You can’t help but wonder why an ex would block you. And the answer could vary from one dynamic to the other. Perhaps he had enough of the mind games. Maybe he was scared of how much he was into you. Or maybe he’s just too angry right now and will probably try and reconnect. Let’s take a comprehensive look at why this happened and what’s potentially in store for you.
What Does It Mean When A Guy Blocks You?
Depending on the kind of dynamic, the expectations, the history, and the kind of personalities you both have, the reasons for why he left you saying, “He blocked me on everything”, can vary. For example, if you two met three days ago and had a first date upcoming, he might have blocked you because he has a girlfriend and she’s trying to get a hold of his phone. Similarly, if you’re left saying, “He blocked me on everything after a fight,” you probably already know why he blocked you. Nonetheless, getting more clarity on the matter always helps. Let’s take a look at all the possible reasons fueling his decision to block you everywhere:
1. He’s angry
Anger, of course, is one of the biggest reasons why people push that “block” button. If he has expressed his anger in a similar fashion in the past, don’t be too surprised that he chose to go down that path again. This block-and-unblock game will, however, leave you asking, “He blocked me but still talks to me, what does he want?” You might have said or done something that offended him, or he might just be angry about something you have no idea about. Depending on how long you’ve known this person, you’ll be able to judge the precise reason behind his actions and what to do after a fight with your boyfriend.
2. He wants to move on
Had a rough breakup? Did somebody cheat on someone? Is your relationship practically over? He has probably decided that he has to move on. Of course, men alone don’t adopt no-contact as a means of moving on. Jesse, a 21-year-old student, tells us about his experience. “I already knew a rough breakup was on the horizon, but when she blocked me everywhere without even telling me, it really took me by surprise. I reacted like anyone would — desperately trying to find closure and living in denial. It was hard, but over time, I realized that a breakup needs to be clean; it can’t be littered with hope.” So, if you’re in a position where you’ve just told your friend, “He blocked me on everything without even saying anything to me”, know that you are not alone. Plus, in certain situations, his decision to block you can be the silver lining in the very dark cloud that was your relationship. If your ex blocked you, take it as a chance to focus on your progress and healing.
3. He’s confused about what he wants
“My ex blocked me on everything, and I was forced to accept that he was probably going to move on after we kept having fights every day. Three days after he blocked me, he came back to me, saying he can’t take the fighting anymore but can’t live without me, and doesn’t know what he wants anymore,” Rachel, a financial advisor, told Bonobology. It’s entirely possible that the person who decided to end contact with you did so because they’re not sure of what they wanted. They’re probably taking a breather or are hoping that a period of no-contact will give them the time and space they need to have some sort of clarity about what they want. In this situation, they may not interact with your social media posts or reply to your messages, but you’re still not completely blocked. That’s pretty much the difference between a “soft block” and a “hard block.”
4. He might have blocked you because he likes you too much
If you’re both just friends and you’ve seen him weirdly try and distance himself from you, it could be because he’s got a crush on you that he’s hoping to get rid of with the push of a button. “I had the nicest friendship with a coworker. He was always extra kind toward me, but for some reason, he blocked me on everything a week after I switched jobs. When he sent me a follow request last week, I finally asked him what happened, and he told me he had a huge crush on me that he needed to get rid of. Can’t say I wasn’t irritated. Men always complicate friendships,” Hannah, 28, says of an experience that almost every woman has had.
5. Or, he doesn’t like you all that much
On the flip side, you could be going through what happened to Anna, a reader from Germany who wrote to us about her struggles. “He gave me the works on our first date, he was charming, witty, and spared no expense. The date went a little too well and landed us both in his apartment that night. The next day, he didn’t reply. After I called him, he said he “doesn’t see a future here” and he blocked me on everything.” If you’re at the receiving end of a scenario like this, it’s best not to get hung up on someone who clearly doesn’t value you. It’s nothing another date with another charming man won’t fix. Or, you know, you could take some time off too.
6. He’s too hurt
If he was cheated on, or if he’s having a hard time accepting the breakup, or even if he’s feeling extremely hurt by the things that are happening between you two, he might resort to blocking you to deal with his emotions. Why would an ex block you if they’re hurt? They might do so hoping that it would give them the distance they need to start their healing process.
7. You were too much for him
If you’re in a relationship, the guy will probably tell you if he feels overwhelmed by you before he ends all contact with you. But if you’re friends or have just started dating, he might get freaked out by the constant texting or calling every hour of the day. When he lacks the capability of communicating his feelings and assumes that ghosting you is a better option, he’s going to end up blocking you. Since you’ll be completely clueless about his reasons, you may be left saying, “If he likes me, why did he block me?!”
8. He’s trying to manipulate you
“When my ex-boyfriend blocked me on everything because I wouldn’t stop talking to my guy best friend, I lost all respect for him. He was trying to scare me into doing what he wanted, which was to completely cut off my best friend just because he was jealous,” Gabriella, a 17-year-old student tells us. Of course, not everyone in the world will have the best intentions. Some just want to use you and will exercise any tactic to control you. So, before you text your friends, “My ex blocked me on everything, what can I do to get him back?”, try to think about whether getting back together is in your best interest. Whether you’re currently experiencing a soft block and a hard block is on the way, or if you’ve already been shunned out, the reason behind it can range from him prioritizing his healing all the way to him trying to control you. With the possible explanations out of the way, now you’ve got to think about what your next steps could be.
What To Do When You Realize He Has Blocked You
Just like the reason behind what he did can range from what your relationship is like with this person, so should your response. For example, when your ex blocks you on everything out of anger, it’s justified to think about how you can rectify the situation or if you even should. However, if someone whom you only text on Christmas blocks you, it’s not an appropriate response to call them a dozen times and demand an explanation. Let’s take a look at a few things to keep in mind when dealing with this situation:
1. Try to wait for a bit
If anger is the first emotion that you experience, it’s a good idea to wait it out for a while before any sort of approach toward conflict resolution. During this time, think about what went wrong and why they might be doing this, but make sure you don’t let it eat up your whole day. Regardless of whether they’re trying to control you or move on, taking some time to reflect on the situation and calm yourself down will be helpful. Talk to a friend, distract yourself, but don’t call them and scream at them.
2. Know when you should let go
If you were in a toxic relationship, a toxic friendship, if you just broke up, or if you were planning to reduce communication, letting go can be a cathartic experience. You might send your friends text messages like, “He blocked me on everything and I hate him so much”, when you first realize that the other person has pulled the plug on your connection, but eventually, things will get better.
3. Play the waiting game
“He blocked me on everything after a fight but texted me back as soon as he calmed down.” Ever heard that before? It happens all the time, and waiting for the person to get back to you will ensure that they get the space and time they need to cool down.
4. Don’t get “revenge”
“My ex blocked me on everything, what makes him think he can do that? I’ll show him.” Try to refrain from such negative thoughts, they’re not going to do anyone any good. Forget about lashing out at this person through mutuals, or worse, showing up at their house to let them know what you’re thinking. You’ll just come off as the “crazy ex” and you’ll rob yourself of the opportunity to work on yourself and heal after a breakup. After all, what they say is true, if your ex blocked you, you win. As you can probably see by now, the appropriate response to being blocked by someone largely focuses on you keeping your cool. However, if you believe that a misunderstanding has torn you two apart and you’re trying to figure out how to get your ex-boyfriend to unblock you, the following section may help.
3 Things To Do To Make Him Unblock You
Before you decide to go down this path, ascertain if this is truly in your best interests or if your attachment and emotions are getting the better of you. If you two have broken up mutually, had a toxic dynamic, or getting back together is not good for you, it’s best to let go. But if you still wish to reverse the whole “my ex-boyfriend blocked me on everything” situation, the following tips may help:
1. Understand what went wrong and tackle the situation accordingly
Got in a nasty fight? Let them cool off for a bit, and apologize if you’ve done something wrong. Are they angry at you for something you did? Try to find an appropriate way to apologize, and establish contact after a while. Whether you’re grappling with thoughts like, “She blocked me everywhere,” or “If he likes me why did he block me?”, the plan should be to get to the bottom of the problem and approach any next steps calmly.
2. Wait it out
When your ex blocks you on everything out of anger, there’s a good chance they’ll come back if you follow the no-contact rule as well. They’ll eventually calm down, and will be curious about what’s going on in your life and want an update. At this point, make sure you don’t give them any mixed signals. Instead, be honest about what you’ve been feeling and what you want without inciting a fight.
3. Change your tone and try to re-establish communication
Once you figure out what the problem is, know for sure that figuring out how to get your ex-boyfriend to unblock you is what you want, you need to change your tone and try to get in touch with the person. If you’re begging for him to come back without offering any practical solutions on how things will be different this time, you might need to rethink your pitch. Get in touch with him through mutuals if you must, but make sure you’re ready for a conversation about how to handle things differently. While pursuing this step, remember to always put yourself first. Don’t let this person disrespect you because you’re attached to them. Try to rekindle things, sure, but don’t do so at the cost of your self-respect. What good is a love that makes you feel like you’re not enough? Thoughts like, “He blocked me on everything, what do I do now?” or, “He blocked me but still talks to me, what does he want?”, aren’t easy to maneuver. Knowing the possible reasons and understanding what you can do next helps in dealing with the situation as pragmatically as possible. Even so, if you think you need more help during this time, Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists and dating coaches can help you get a clearer view of everything around you.
